Reading herself to sleep

    I'm obsessed.  I have so many pictures of big L reading herself to sleep or falling asleep with books.  It's just the cutiest thing to me.  I can't help but smile and snap a picture when I see her doing this.  The best part is when I hear her "reading" the story.  

This is the first time she fell asleep reading.  :)

And the second time <3

Here are a few taken off the baby monitor

Nursing a 20 Month Old

The joys of nursing a 20 month old.

   My first at this point was done and a while before that she was mostly down to right before bed.  This child is a nursing fiend and I don't have the will power at the moment to cut the sessions back, at least it's healthy stuff right??!    

Here is what nursing a 20 month old can look like.  

Ok that's enough we are doing side lying position! 

Aww sleepy baby

So cute until she woke up right at the end of my shower. Right back to it. 

I maybe should start putting my foot down a bit more but until I do this is my life; some moments I love it and some moments I hate it but she won't do this forever.  

    *not pictured are the "I'll stand while you lean over on the couch mom"

The "sit toddler on counter while mom stands" 

And the "big sister is feeling left out so she will give toddler a hug while said toddler is attached to mom's nipple" 

Finding my Happy

Just a little poem I wrote up today about my constant struggle to stay happy.  

Finding my happy

I'm on the road 

The road of happiness 

Well at least I want to be.  . . 

I keep getting in the car and drive a little ways.  I'm feeling good, I've got the music blaring, the sun is shining, and the coast is clear.  Happiness- yea I like this drive. 

I come across some speed bumps, no problem I say; we can do this bumps and all just keep going.  There are some pot holes now, that's what makes like interesting right?? I come into some traffic, it's harder but I pep talk myself along.  But now the traffic is all but stopped and my can do attitude is gone.  I get off the road, I park my car, and I cry. 

10 Minutes Is All You Need Sometimes

    Today I was feeling touched out, exhausted, and I was having a hard time staying calm with L as the day was coming to a close. 

    The hubby got home after dinner was served.  When he walked in the door big L was in her room because she had been playing in a milk mess she made and refused to clean it up.  After I sent her upstairs she dumped out a basket of clean clothes.  I closed the door and set a timer for three minutes, she needed a time out and so did I.  

   The hubby fixed a bowl, ate, and then disappeared for half an hour.  I mean it was to use the bathroom and then to go in his office for a few minutes.  I'm sure he lost track of time and did not intend to be gone that long and there is a good chance he even returned a few work emails and or texts.  I told myself that he deserved some him time, time to decompress after his day too but I did too.  My day was long and demanding and even though my to do list was not completed I did accomplish a lot.  So when he came out of his office at 5 past 7 while I was shooing the girls upstairs, I decided to leave him to jamas and teeth brushing so I could take 10 minutes.

    I'm so glad I did!  I set my timer, sat cross legged on the couch with quiet music playing and meditated.  I focused on my breathing.  I thought about how I really needed this, what I needed to clean still, and how thankful I was that my husband let me have that time, and that with Gods help I can do this mom thing.  I went upstairs feeling more calm and much happier.  

   A certain cat was also glad I took some me time as he sat purring on me for most of the 10 minutes.  lol