Motherhood is a stressful blessing

    All day I have been feeling down and mad at the world.  I did not do anything productive and did not even get dressed for the day until 4pm.  I've let out a lot of tears and at one point I actually threw stuffed animals around the room.  Don't worry no one else was in the room with me.  

    Now at 2:30am I'm letting those feelings all melt away as I'm realizing how blessed I am.  I put little L in her cradle asleep but she woke up.  At first I was annoyed, just like I had been at everything else today.  Then I picked her up and let her lay with me, her head on the crook of my arm, and right back to sleep she went.  

How lucky I am to have children who love and trust me so much that simply being close to me relaxes them.  How lucky am I to have children that want to be close to me?!  I wanted a break so bad all day and now I'm choosing to revile in this pure love and the blessing that is motherhood.  

   Even if I do want to escape sometimes or wish I could have just a few minutes to myself, motherhood truly is a blessing.  This stage of them needing me like this won't last for long in the grand scheme of things.   Still next weekend I'm feeding little L and running out the door.  Mama needs a hair cut and some sanity.